[Electronica / Jazz] lucky one - Jezebel
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:21 PM   #1
lucky one
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Icon14 [Electronica / Jazz] lucky one - Jezebel

This track has been waiting one year on my computer, and I'm happy to finally publish it.
It sounds very special to me, like something I am doing for the first time.
I'm curious to hear your feedback on it.



Constructive comments on how I can improve it is welcome!

Cheers,

Luc

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Old 03-12-2017, 05:45 AM   #2
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Re: [Electronica / Jazz] lucky one - Jezebel

Okay so from a composition perspective, I got no problems except for around 1:26ish. I think it's a little boring of a transition. It does slowly get a little more interesting but it was just jarring and unsatisfying for me. Other than that, everything else was fine. I think it sounds fine.

From a mixing perspective however, I felt like the main instrument was a little too in my face and not always pleasant. Perhaps lowering it so it sits a little farther back in the mix, or adding some reverb to make it sound distant may help. It already commands attention from the way it's written so letting it chill so the other instruments can help build a vibe won't hurt it. Also, adjusting things like velocity or timing to make it more organic would really help. You could even take some of the harshness away by using EQ to get rid of some of the top end.

Overall your track is fine, but just a few things could make it a little more interesting.
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:24 PM   #3
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Re: [Electronica / Jazz] lucky one - Jezebel

Awesome, thank you Treyt0r for this detailed feedback. This is really useful to improve the track, I will give it a try tomorrow!

Small question, when you talk about the main instrument, is it the one starting at 0'0" (Rhodes like) or the one at 0'30" (bells like)?

Thanks!

Luc

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Old 06-12-2017, 08:07 PM   #4
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Re: [Electronica / Jazz] lucky one - Jezebel

Very chilled ! I also think it could be better with more of a break down ? Really enjoyed the chilled vibe of it
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Old 07-12-2017, 01:08 AM   #5
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Re: [Electronica / Jazz] lucky one - Jezebel

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky one View Post
Small question, when you talk about the main instrument, is it the one starting at 0'0" (Rhodes like) or the one at 0'30" (bells like)?

Thanks!

Luc
No worries mate! I'd love to see more of what you do with this track!

I was mostly referring to the piano that comes in at about 1:25. I think it's fine to have it loud at the start, but perhaps use some automation to cool it down a little bit later on. It may be better to turn the rhodes and bells too, but it may not be necessary. Personally, I wasn't bothered by them.

Anyway, hope my feedback was helpful! cheers
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Old 09-12-2017, 12:59 AM   #6
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Re: [Electronica / Jazz] lucky one - Jezebel

Thanks Lee Taub for the feedback, and Treyt0r for the details!

I reworked the track, and mainly added a longer break to make a better transition between the first and the second part:



I went for some "grandfather house where someone was playing piano" ambiance, and I quite like the result

Comments are still welcome!

Cheers,

Luc

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