[Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED
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Old 03-09-2017, 06:23 AM   #1
Toothpinch
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[Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED

Haven't posted in a while - but I still lurk about.

Anyway, give this a try.

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Old 03-09-2017, 09:02 PM   #2
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Re: [Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED

Interesting fusion of genres ^^ I really love classical deutch industrial music, and I loke trap too, and I think you made a pretty cool mix between them
I love the first part but maybe you could lower the kicks a little beat and pump up the voice. The second part is cool, but it's a bit long in my opinion. At last, the third part si a pure magic for a industrial music lover
Very nice work, I will check your other tracks !

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Old 03-09-2017, 09:11 PM   #3
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Re: [Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED

like the track, like the style. my biggest criticism is the vocals. all the effected and low key parts sound good. The main vocals sometimes feel like you want to give emotion but you're holding back. It's lukewarm. Either keep it monotone/lifeless or give it your all, that in between doesn't work for me. Great potential in this track. I'd either put effects all over those vox or rerecord them.
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Old 03-09-2017, 11:23 PM   #4
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Re: [Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED

I am going to have to agree with Harko on this one and say maybe scrap the vocals all together. It kind of kills the song for me. It would be cool if the vocals were processed more like Marilyn Manson's are. The beat itself isn't bad though, I actually rather liked it but the vocals are pretty off putting. It has potential though!
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Old 04-09-2017, 04:07 AM   #5
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Re: [Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED

Love it. Love the EBM influences in your music tooth. The vocals do need a little bit more work, perhaps some distortion and or another vocal track interweaved in. Also I feel like it would benefit from a touch more instrumentation. I'm thinking a Gary numan style lead glassy synth or something along those lines. Sounds 90% done to me, just a few touches and it is up there with your best work.

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Old 04-09-2017, 05:20 PM   #6
Toothpinch
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Re: [Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED

Thank you for your feedback.

Yes, vocals are the weakest link in my chain. I've been playing with different styles on a few tracks I haven't released yet and have been struggling with it.

On this one I was trying to go as clear as I could without the saturated distortion I've used in the past.
I don't have the ability to belt out the vox like I'd like where I live - but may try anyway to see if that helps the "holding back" issue.

Glad the music itself is well received and will definitely work to get my vocals to match the rest of the song.


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I'm thinking a Gary Numan style lead glassy synth or something along those lines.
September 15th he has a new album coming out. Looking forward to it!

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Old 04-09-2017, 07:16 PM   #7
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Re: [Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED

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Originally Posted by Toothpinch View Post
I don't have the ability to belt out the vox like I'd like where I live - but may try anyway to see if that helps the "holding back" issue.
I had a feeling that was the case. I've been there. I personally like vocals that are subdued. You may not be able to make the song how you imagine it because of circumstances. Try to make it sound as best you can with what you're able to do.
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Old 05-09-2017, 02:58 AM   #8
Toothpinch
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Re: [Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED

Ok, If you're interested in giving it a second go - Version 2 (Same Link so refresh your cache if on mobile).
Added some intro elements, but shortened the intro 15 secs. Added a synth for tension. Put on my vocal effects. Did a bit of arrangement. And hopefully didn't F it up.

I dunno, I'm tone deaf to it now. Time to step away.

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Old 05-09-2017, 04:27 AM   #9
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Re: [Industrial - Trap] Toothpinch - H8TRED

I think the problem with your vocals isn't the effects, it's the delivery. It sounds stilted and unnatural - you're drawing out syllables over beats or cramming too many into a short space. It's like you're too worried about hitting syllables on the beat instead of just singing a line and having it end in the right spot. It gives the entire track an amateur feel, and it could be fixed by getting the vocal delivery more fluid and musical. Honestly, the part the worked best for me is the start where you're just talking over the music, because it feels really natural. I think some reverb on the vocals would also help them sit better in the track. The fact that they're so forward in the mix, even with the added effects, just exacerbates the delivery issue.

The rest of the song is really solid, and the addition of the synth really tied things together. Outside the vocals I'd call it done and ready to rock.

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